BELFAST X-Factor star Debye Gaskin has revealed how music saved her after suffering at the hands of bullies from a young age.
Debye (40) who appeared on the programme alongside daughter Hayley Norton (21) as Descendance has been at the centre of a media storm after judges suggested she and Hayley should go their separate ways on the show.
Since the pair split at the weekend Debye has come under fire from people claiming she didn’t step aside quick enough for her daughter.
But Debye says she’s well used to dealing with negativity, as a child and teenager she battled the bullies on many occasions and has come out singing.
Debye believes it was the inner strength she gained from learning to stand up to the bullies that helped her stand firm and fight for herself and her daughter on the show.
And it was her unwavering desire to achieve her own dream of performing in front of Simon Cowell that got Descendance their place in front of the X-Factor judges.
“I was very young when the bullying began, much younger than Hayley” said Debye, originally from Canada.
“It still hurts to remember it, but I’m stronger now.
“I was about nine years old when the bullying started, one of the first instances I remember was when we moved house to a new small town, it was my first day at my new school and one of the popular kids just walked up to me and punched me for no reason. The blood was streaming from my nose and the teachers did nothing to help me.
“I just didn’t fit in, I don’t know why. From that day on I remember trying to be accepted by them. I would try to give them things but my mum would tell me that I couldn’t buy friendship. And she was right, they just decided they didn’t want me around.
“I was so desperate for friends that I was willing to do anything, there was one day another girl called for me to go out and my mum didn’t want me to go but I did and they were waiting for me to beat me up – thankfully my mum followed me and stopped them.
“I think it was around this time that I started retreating into music as an escape, as a way of dealing with what was going on in the real world.”
And for Debye being the victim of bullies is something that has followed her throughout her life.
“From that moment on in my life I just never seemed to fit in. It was like the bullies could see that I was ripe for the pickings. I never really had a father figure in my life because my dad died when I was just 16 months old. My mum struggled, like many single mothers do. We moved around a lot throughout my life and it became harder and harder to adjust to new people and situations every time we moved.
“I think because I was the ‘new girl’ I just kept being that person that everyone picked on, from lashing out at me and hitting me to horrific name calling I’ve taken it all but I’m proud of myself for not letting it beat me.
“That’s where music came in, music is like the glue that has kept me and my life together when it felt like I couldn’t go on.”
Now Debye wants her daughter to realise her own dreams after being held back for so long herself by the mental scars of the bullying.
“When Hayley gained an interest in music I just pushed her and pushed her and supported her through everything she wanted to do. I really think if there had been someone there for me to do that for me it would have made a lot of difference in my life, my mum did the best she could with two children” she said, adding: “It’s so important for me to do that for Hayley, to be there for her and to give her the support and encouragement.”
The strength of the pair, and Debye’s determination to make sure Hayley can achieve her dreams has left the duo contemplating whether Debye should set aside her own visions to allow Hayley to develop.
When Sharon claimed their pairing was “odd” Debye responded: “We don’t think it’s odd though.”
“It made me feel very, very strange. I can’t really describe the actual feelings. It has always been my dream perform in front of Simon and I remember just standing there looking at him when Sharon was saying that to us.
“I just thought ‘I understand, I understand everything you’re saying’. I didn’t want to argue, because they have such credibility behind them I didn’t think I had the right to actually say that but I did want the opportunity to prove them wrong.”
It has been a long journey for the pair, this being their third attempt to get on the multi-million viewer show.
“We’ve auditioned for X Factor for three years but this is the first year we’ve got on,” said Debye.
“We actually got through to the judges last year but we were in Canada and we couldn’t make the audition. It was hard for us to have to wait another year.
“However, I’m glad we had to wait that extra year as I don’t think we were ready then even though I said we were. We were definitely more in synch with each other this year.”
Photo by Debbie Deboo
Descendance are receiving tremendous support from fans across Northern Ireland now that the secret is out, however, Debye revealed she struggled to keep their appearance on the show secret.
“You’ve no idea how hard it has been!” she said. “This year I had a gut feeling so I decided I would keep it quiet from the beginning and didn’t say anything until obviously it was allowed.
“We didn’t know at the time that we would actually get through to the judges’ audition but I wasn’t taking any chances I just had a feeling, I really felt it was only a matter of time and I think that’s why I was able to keep it quiet for so long.”
When Debye and Hayley revealed to the judges astonishment they were mother and daughter there was open jawed amazement. But for Debye it’s natural for the two of them to perform together.
“For me it was very easy,” she said. I would tell my mum stuff and I hoped that would happen with me and Hayley.
“I can’t believe how good it did go when we started to do it so for us to do this together was amazing and Hayley feels the same way about it but for me it was the most amazing feeling ever.”
Coming from a musical family Debye is a veteran of open mic sessions and competitions, but that didn’t stop her shaking when it came to stand in front of the judges.
“I thought I was going to be really nervous and starstruck” she said, adding: “I’ve wanted to sing in front of Simon ever since I first saw him on American Idol so this was huge for me.
“I was standing in front of them all and I was shaking a bit but I told myself ‘knock it off’ as you’re only going to get one shot at this.”
“I think some people go in and nerves completely destroy their shot and they mess up or they don’t enjoy it but I did not want that to happen, not for me, not for her, not for both of us together.
“For me it was something special as I don’t think there are many mothers and daughters who are able to say they have done something like that together.”
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Photos by Debbie Deboo Photography.
