“30: 30” is a reflective feature, including daily instalments focusing on topics, memories, people and places that have shaped who that I have become at this point in my life, as I turn 30. In a world of uncertainty, its important to remember how far we have come, celebrate our successes/ failures, as every experience has brought us to where we are today and reflection on action is metaphorically the starting blocks of our future.
Day 1 (28/03/2018): “WHAT MAKES A MAN”
The “Big 30, just a number or a landmark age to be celebrated and dreaded in equal measure??? For some, the thought of the departure from their 20’s is met by a dramatic drum solo, a manic evaluation of their life achievements to date and a sense of panic. For me, reaching 30 is nothing to fear, on the contrary, it’s very much an achievement. What is frightening is how quickly the years have flown by. For me, turning 30 is a very evocative process. Obviously, as we reflect back on our lives, we think about the people who have shaped our very existence. Anyone who knows me, will know that our mother (Annemarie McFadden) was the center of our world, the inspiration behind my cancer awareness campaign and my greatest source of inspiration. However, the unsung hero in my life has been very much, my father, Liam McFadden.
Liam may not be my father by blood, but he is the only father that we have ever known. He is the personification as to the fact that “any man can make a child, but it takes a real man to be a father”. Liam first met my mum when they were teenagers, and my mum declined his affections (to put it politely). Through a strange set of circumstances, their worlds collided and they feel in love during the summer of 1999. To be completely honest, I was not best pleased when I was informed that my mum had met someone, through no fault of Liam’s, but our biological father was no man to speak of and naturally I was skeptical, and thought that all men were likely capable of the same.
True to his nature, Liam persevered, he tried so hard to build a bond with us. The love for my mum was obviously strong, as many men would of ran for the hills, taking on four children that were not their own. What was obvious from day one with Liam, was that he was a big kid himself, he wasn’t afraid to play fight, have a laugh and his favourite past time (still is), was to make fun of anything he possibly could. You can imagine the material the awkward teenage years provided for him. Behind the jokes made in jest, was pure and unconditional love, in no time at all, I noticed that the look of love and affection I saw when he looked at my mum, filled his eyes when he looked at us. It’s fair to say that Liam went through the mill in terms of trials and tribulations from day one of his relationship with my mum. But (cue the 1990’s power ballad in the background), their love truly did conquer all.
As someone who grew up afraid that I would become the monster that haunted our early childhood, here I had, a real man, someone who was your typical “man’s man”, loves his football, boxing, pints with the boys. However, he was also kind, compassionate, hard working, fair and above all, a real big teddy bear. Yes, he would tell us off when we did wrong, but like a real man, he did so with reason. Reflecting back, even during the first years of having Liam in our lives, I had nothing but admiration for him. But it was during my mum’s battle with cancer, her passing and how he has kept all the promises he made to her and became an even stronger person despite such heartache which makes me value and respect him more with every passing day. Yes we are polar opposites, yes we likely aggravate the life out of each other as he likes to tease, and I am incredibly stubborn. But he is my dad, and I love him endlessly. My dad restored my faith in mankind, he showed us what it was to be a man, to be a father and to be a loving partner and father. His life with us began when he was 29/30 and we have shared a multitude of memories as a family. So it just goes to prove that life truly does begin at 30.